Wow, so where to begin. I totally went crazy with booking dates this week.

I had a date Wed. night which went well with Roger. Very fun quirky guy. Thu. was Joaquin and he is very cool. Friday was with New Randy which was a second date. That was fun but I had to call it in early due to exhaustion from work & staying-up late. Sat. evening was Wyatt and that too was fun. I have a second date planned already with Roger next Wed. for movie and a bar. Sat. night at Rula Bula I was in the bathroom and ran into my co-worker Brianna. Ha, small town. I told her I was on my date so she ever so discreetly walked by to check him out. It got really loud inside so we walked around outside for awhile then Wyatt left because he had prior engagements. I then texted Brianna and met up with her back at Rula Bula. Now I had to pay a two dollar cover since I had left, lol. Whatevs as Bri puts it.

At Rula Bula Bri announced she had seen other people we work with for birthday. So I walked around to locate them and asked if we could join and they said cool. So we met up with them outside. It started to rain more so we went inside. Whilst inside a woman started a conversation with me and introduced me to the two men she was with. While in their company I realized one of them was totally cute with a great smile. We started talking and we made each other laugh a lot. He joked that he peddled on the street, I joked that it was I spend my Sunday evenings doing because that's where the $ is. I explained I fashioned a shirt stuffed under my clothes to appear pregnant to get additional money. He mentioned that he would assist me on these endeavours by dressing like a dirty bum ahead of me to encourage the passerbys to give me more money because when you compare the two I was in more need still. Also in case things got hairy he would be my back-up support. Meanwhile the woman who's name was Leyla kept interjecting how beautiful and cool I was. She kept petting my head explaining she LOVED my hair-cut. I received the most hugs I have ever received in my life that evening. It was CrAzY. I continued my conversation with Jesse and checked in with Bri periodically. Bri suggested I be careful because I may fall into a foursome with the two guys and the cougar. Ha, I explained this rundown to Jesse and his friend Cory. They laughed emphatically that they could see where we may get that impression however that is far from the truth. They explained to me how they met and it was a good time. Then Bri and the crew decided to migrate to another bar. Jesse and I had already explained we were both single, he's a Leo and I am a Sagg, so I gave a rundown of what that meant. Lol. He inquired. I advised him that he should ask for my number, he did. Now I am that girl waiting a phone call. Ha, I hate that! Oh well. It was fun.

Funeral Music

"And I love her," The Beatles

"Stairway to heaven," Led Zepplin

"Bohemian Rhapsody," Queen

"Don't dream it's over," Crowded House

"Don't fear the reaper," Blue Oyster Cult

"Simple Man," Lynard Synard

"Spirit in the sky," Norman Greenbaum

"Imagine" A Perfect Circle

"Hurt" NIN

"Just like you imagined" NIN

"I will follow you into the dark" Death Cab for Cutie

TOP 10 Most Unusual
“The Show Must Go On,” Queen
“Highway to Hell,” AC/DC
“Another One Bites the Dust,” Queen
5. “I’ll Sleep When I’m Dead,” Bon Jovi
6. “Always Look on the Bright Side of Life,” Monty Python
7. “Ding Dong the Witch is Dead,” The Wizard of Oz
8. “Hit the Road Jack,” Willie Nelson
9. “I’m Too Sexy,” Right Said Fred
10. “Power,” Crows and Australian Football League team songs

Conversations with the dead

11.21.09 posting - I spoke to Mel briefly - her sister Julie died 2 days ago (11.19.09) from a herione overdose. She was in a recovery house and her stupid bf sold her a bag and she OD.

I remember a conversation with Julie a few years ago just before her wedding - it was Julie and her mother Nancy tried to find-out if I knew anything about Melanie. We could all see that she was a mess, she'd lost a lot of weight and was not herself. I told them both I did not have any clue - other than drinking - the typical college party girl I did not know of anything. Julie and Nancy expressed that I was still really good friends with Mel even across the country and over the large number of years. They encouraged me to stay in touch with her and let them know if I noticed anything. Julie gave me her email address and told me to notify her if I heard anything that gave any indication about her state of mind.

Who would know that a few years later both girls would be entagled in a series of lies to their friends and family and worse yet- one would die. The only positive thing that is going to come from this is that Mel's family will ensure to stay close to Mel and keep an eye on her every move. Mel just got out of rehab for using herione and now swears she will never touch alochol or drugs ago. I know that if she is truly an addict it will take more than the demise of a family member to stay clean but however disheartening the situations is - it is a wake-up call to Mel.

It's really hard for me - I feel like a terrible friend because over the last few years Mel and I have really lost touch. I had conversing over the phone because it's always really hard to hear her and the drama is epic. There is always some new fucked-up thing happening in her life and it is so challenging for me when I cannot actually do anything about it.

It sounds selfish but I get dragged into it and it's a lot to handle. I don't know how to help and it's hard. It's a double edged sword - if I KIT all of the time and something terrible happens I will think what could I have done differently to help?! If I stay clear & something happens then it's why didn't I help? It's daunting either way so apparently I have just choice avoidance behavior.

Good thing for me has come out of it - I got in touch with Mel finally and I emailed sperm donor back from an email a very long time ago. I also will finally try calling the brother once I am better composed.

Title

31 flavors

Flavor of the evening - "Bunny Delight"

I would say that during sex you can definately commit crimes against the opposite sex than may never come back from. One of those crimes against women in particular is what is commonly referred to as "jack rabbit sex." Such a terrible crime against the vagina, it pains me to even speak of it for fear she may go into hiding forever. There there little girl...he is long gone now.

Flavor of the evening - "Tech. special."

A shoehorn is a wonderful thing and should be included in every girl's handy bag. Not to be confused with their "hand bag," handy bag includes an array of fun gadgets used for human consumption and pleasure.

Every girl dreams of a man with a banana in his pocket when he greets her at the door. No? Well, this little girl does.

Beaver Dam

11.08.09

Saturday 11.07.09 the setting, dinner at a fabolous greek restaruant for my hetero life partner's birthday. It was awesome, a table of twenty people which is of course to the server's benefit more than the table's. Dinner was good, service was slow. Sobriety is not my best friend and our waitress was terribly slow of supplying the continual flow of liquor into my veins. She should know better, it is not the first time I have been in attendace of this lovely establishment. I should wear a post-it on my forehead that clearly states "Do not allow me to get sober." That should clear the air fairly well.

After dinner there was some arguement about where our grand table would go and take another place over. The majority voted a nearby strip club which is great because hetero life partner, Kate has not been to one...ever. I know right? I have let her down. I had to make everything I had ever let her down for in our entire evening...when else would I get this opportunity?!

Some people went to my house and then an interesting joint that serves both greasy fries and waffles. While the rest of the cool kids took their drunkish asses to the strip club nearby.

The place was packed and we could not get all of us in. Our new totally hot friend Bree took it upon herself to go inside and create a space for us. Yay! Things were starting to look very disappointing for a few minutes until Bree came in to save the day! We had a table of six and then the other table of six came in shortly after. Kay had the pleasure of getting her first lapdance purchased by stripper Jesus (a man so clever he dressed as Jesus with a Little Bo Peep costume under so each time he opened his outside robe it was as if he was stripping, effing hilarious). Unfortunately this girl was a little too on the scandelous side and Kay was a little to sober. It was great to be an outside observer though for this grand event. The next lapdance was for me, bought by stripper Jesus again, then she went over to Kay. Stripper Jesus was very generious this evening, he bought Kay 3 seperate lapdances, plus one for me, and one for Bree. Very awesome. So I paid him back and bought him a lap dance.

While going to the bathroom which is past the strippers changing room! YAY! It was so entertaining! It was like getting a sneak peak of what was to come. I chatted up several strippers that were very cool. One, Georgia had amazing boots, one - Alisha had a beautiful corset and another had fantastic tattoos. I bought S.J. a lapdance from Georgia and paid twice the normal fee and paid long before she was done with her routine, I told her I knew she was good for it. She finished her routine and seemed to have disappeared which was strange. Then she came over explaining how awesome it as because the kid she gave a dance too had never been so hard in his entire life. Then he came over to thank me! It was so awkard! I congratulated the kid and chased after Georgia. I apologized proffiously and explained that was the wrong kid in a baseball cap! She apologized and then went over to S.J. and did her thing in those totally sexy boots that I wanted to steel off her body.

11/11/07

Wow, I have no posted here in a billion years. I need privacy, this blog allows me that. I am so frustrated. I have sent the sperm donor and email to open the door a little over a month ago now and the douche bag never responded. I do not know if I am more angry at his lack of an ickling of caring or the fact that it bothers me as much as it does. I am exhausted and drained from head to toe. Consumed with a kind of loneliness I would not wish upon anyone and the lack of understanding how somebody could be so cold. I started to write a letter to him or myself. I have yet to determine whether I will bother to send such a letter. I will not receive a response. However will it help me to send a letter and not receive a response or hinder me further? Is the act of writing the letter enough to give me solace? These are questions that are running through my mind 24/7.

I can not even shed a tear right now since I am on default anger and frustration. I just want to cause pain and devastation nothing more. I can not even add to the letter.

"Why bother laughing if you are not going to snort?" My friend saw that bumber sticker and thought of me. Cute.