Today Eric and I left for Cali at about 11:30AM . We were lucky to get to go then, I didn't request Sat night off so Kieta expoed Sat night for me! How cool!
Kent (Eric's dad) was sick so Karil, Jeff, Eric and I went out to the Panda Inn for dinner then rented Officespace. Eric had left the room doing laundry or something and I came into the living room where Jeff and Karil were sitting on the couch and it looked very univiting. I sat in the ugly stiff chair his mom is always in. Eric came in and we could finally start the movie and his mom Karil patted the seat next to her to usher Eric over there away from his seat next to me. Eric just sort of shrugged and Karil made Jeff scooch over to make some more room and patted the fucking seat again. This time Eric went over. The feelings that came over to me may seem oversensitive or weird to you but something about the whole thing was like being shunned out of the area. I felt even more like an outsider than I already did. I was alone. Nobody made a seat for me, which was to be expected because that couch is not that big. Here's the thing I am not sure about...did Karil do it to have Eric there really or was it more like to take him away from me? I think the latter, but who knows. Maybe I am just an irrational typical crazy woman who overeacts to everything. Either way it made me want to leave forever.
The next morning I slept in until noon because well, we were not going anywhere or doing anything any time soon so why get up? It would just be more sitting there trying to think of things to say and trying to ignore the awkward silence. And it also gave Eric, Karil and Jeff some alone time so I felt mighty comfortable just lying in bed and not getting up anytime soon. Jeff was doing Karil's brakes and so we're hanging outside standing around and Karil asks if Eric knows anybody that would like a VCR. I asked her why she VCRs to get rid of. "One is a cheapo I bought for school and other one is my old VCR." Then Eric looks at me and says, "Hey do you want one?" "Sure" So I follow her into the garage and she grabs this one and says, "This is the one from school." I nodded, I did not know if she was digging for the other one or handing me that one. "Well you want it?" So I took it from her. Then she looks at Eric and asks him if he knew anybody else that wanted one.
Recently I saw an episode of Dharma and Gregg that was really interesting. Dharma lost the wedding ring that she had gotten from her mother-in-law (which she had gotten from her mother etc etc) and had lost it. Later on found it and had it cleaned. The jeweler then proceeded to tell her it was a fake. She had given a fake because she did not think the marriage would last, did not trust or really like Dharma.
That's how I felt. She had already told me that was the "cheapo" VCR and gave me it and proceeded to ask if anybody else wanted one. Like somebody better than me. It's cool. I do not mind that she wants to give me the cheap one, especially if she has an idea of whom she wants to give the better one to. That is fine by me. But giving me the cheapo then trying to find a home for the better one while I am still standing right there, it just hurt. I hate people.