Title

31 flavors

Flavor of the evening - "Bunny Delight"

I would say that during sex you can definately commit crimes against the opposite sex than may never come back from. One of those crimes against women in particular is what is commonly referred to as "jack rabbit sex." Such a terrible crime against the vagina, it pains me to even speak of it for fear she may go into hiding forever. There there little girl...he is long gone now.

Flavor of the evening - "Tech. special."

A shoehorn is a wonderful thing and should be included in every girl's handy bag. Not to be confused with their "hand bag," handy bag includes an array of fun gadgets used for human consumption and pleasure.

Every girl dreams of a man with a banana in his pocket when he greets her at the door. No? Well, this little girl does.

Beaver Dam

11.08.09

Saturday 11.07.09 the setting, dinner at a fabolous greek restaruant for my hetero life partner's birthday. It was awesome, a table of twenty people which is of course to the server's benefit more than the table's. Dinner was good, service was slow. Sobriety is not my best friend and our waitress was terribly slow of supplying the continual flow of liquor into my veins. She should know better, it is not the first time I have been in attendace of this lovely establishment. I should wear a post-it on my forehead that clearly states "Do not allow me to get sober." That should clear the air fairly well.

After dinner there was some arguement about where our grand table would go and take another place over. The majority voted a nearby strip club which is great because hetero life partner, Kate has not been to one...ever. I know right? I have let her down. I had to make everything I had ever let her down for in our entire evening...when else would I get this opportunity?!

Some people went to my house and then an interesting joint that serves both greasy fries and waffles. While the rest of the cool kids took their drunkish asses to the strip club nearby.

The place was packed and we could not get all of us in. Our new totally hot friend Bree took it upon herself to go inside and create a space for us. Yay! Things were starting to look very disappointing for a few minutes until Bree came in to save the day! We had a table of six and then the other table of six came in shortly after. Kay had the pleasure of getting her first lapdance purchased by stripper Jesus (a man so clever he dressed as Jesus with a Little Bo Peep costume under so each time he opened his outside robe it was as if he was stripping, effing hilarious). Unfortunately this girl was a little too on the scandelous side and Kay was a little to sober. It was great to be an outside observer though for this grand event. The next lapdance was for me, bought by stripper Jesus again, then she went over to Kay. Stripper Jesus was very generious this evening, he bought Kay 3 seperate lapdances, plus one for me, and one for Bree. Very awesome. So I paid him back and bought him a lap dance.

While going to the bathroom which is past the strippers changing room! YAY! It was so entertaining! It was like getting a sneak peak of what was to come. I chatted up several strippers that were very cool. One, Georgia had amazing boots, one - Alisha had a beautiful corset and another had fantastic tattoos. I bought S.J. a lapdance from Georgia and paid twice the normal fee and paid long before she was done with her routine, I told her I knew she was good for it. She finished her routine and seemed to have disappeared which was strange. Then she came over explaining how awesome it as because the kid she gave a dance too had never been so hard in his entire life. Then he came over to thank me! It was so awkard! I congratulated the kid and chased after Georgia. I apologized proffiously and explained that was the wrong kid in a baseball cap! She apologized and then went over to S.J. and did her thing in those totally sexy boots that I wanted to steel off her body.