May 31rst Sat.
I had been bitchier than usual and little things were driving me nuts, so of course I was thinking of things in the past that would get me even more riled up. Kieta, Eric and I went to Chipolte, this little very american-mexican burrito place where you tell them what you want and it's lke a 5$ burrito. I don't like mexican food, doesn't even the whole of mexico know this tid bit??

Anyways when we were in the car on the way home Kieta asked if I was alright and I said no. She asked why not and I told her my life sucks. Why she asked. I started listing off shit like my job sucks, the people I live with suck she said and your parents suck and bla bla then I said my boyfriend's Eric. Not meaning it like he's the cause of all my problems but being in this relationship has it's ups and downs and the complexities sometimes are just unnerving. Eric was upstairs by this time and he yells, "No offense Michelle but fuck off." I walked outside and dropped my phone and wallet by a bush. I walked around for awhile and sat in the golf course and just cried. I was just so stressed and upset at everything. When I was walking back to the house I saw what looked like Eric walking outside so I ran around to the other side and ran into the house and went into the bathroom and took a shower then went into my room. Eric was sitting there on my bed and he asked me simply "Do you wanna break-up with me?" I simply replied, "Overall no."

He seemed confused at this so I finished, "Sometimes I just get sick of it and I want to end it. I don't want to overall because I don't wanna give up." "huh?" He's still confused. I basically explained that I wouldn't give-up so easily, so I didn't wanna give-up yet. When you're in a relationship pretty much no matter what happens you need to try whole heartidly to make it work. He said something later, "I just feel like you don't love me. Like you tolerate me."

July 27th 2003
Today as Eric is getting ready to go take a shower he tells Anna about how I wailed on him at Sivone's house. (Long story) And how his friend's (later on he told me it was only David that had said it.) were all like "How can you put up with that?" But it said in this they're right why do I put up with this shit TONE. He said it in the stupid asshole way that made we just want to say FUCK off then leave. If you fucking feel like that then why the hell are you here? Just leave. I get so sick of his shit sometimes. If women weren't so fucking stupid I would be gay because guys do not make sense to little old me.