11.21.09 posting - I spoke to Mel briefly - her sister Julie died 2 days ago (11.19.09) from a herione overdose. She was in a recovery house and her stupid bf sold her a bag and she OD.
I remember a conversation with Julie a few years ago just before her wedding - it was Julie and her mother Nancy tried to find-out if I knew anything about Melanie. We could all see that she was a mess, she'd lost a lot of weight and was not herself. I told them both I did not have any clue - other than drinking - the typical college party girl I did not know of anything. Julie and Nancy expressed that I was still really good friends with Mel even across the country and over the large number of years. They encouraged me to stay in touch with her and let them know if I noticed anything. Julie gave me her email address and told me to notify her if I heard anything that gave any indication about her state of mind.
Who would know that a few years later both girls would be entagled in a series of lies to their friends and family and worse yet- one would die. The only positive thing that is going to come from this is that Mel's family will ensure to stay close to Mel and keep an eye on her every move. Mel just got out of rehab for using herione and now swears she will never touch alochol or drugs ago. I know that if she is truly an addict it will take more than the demise of a family member to stay clean but however disheartening the situations is - it is a wake-up call to Mel.
It's really hard for me - I feel like a terrible friend because over the last few years Mel and I have really lost touch. I had conversing over the phone because it's always really hard to hear her and the drama is epic. There is always some new fucked-up thing happening in her life and it is so challenging for me when I cannot actually do anything about it.
It sounds selfish but I get dragged into it and it's a lot to handle. I don't know how to help and it's hard. It's a double edged sword - if I KIT all of the time and something terrible happens I will think what could I have done differently to help?! If I stay clear & something happens then it's why didn't I help? It's daunting either way so apparently I have just choice avoidance behavior.
Good thing for me has come out of it - I got in touch with Mel finally and I emailed sperm donor back from an email a very long time ago. I also will finally try calling the brother once I am better composed.