I paid 350 for rent today.

370 + 185 = 555 I owed.

I paid 200 so now I owe 355 for STUFF. Including pet deposit and computer. So yay. I paid her some money. Just 355 more to go!

Okay so here's the money (oh damn the money) situation as it stands now. This is for my records more than anything so you can just ignore this. I just need to keep track somewhere a little more permanent.

July rent paid
August rent paid

I still owe Kieta $185 for damages from Socks to the old house.
Plus utilities etc.

Computer
I paid $300 upfront in
April: Paid $100
May: Paid $100
Total: $500

I still owe $370

Just random bickering.

I have not talked to my father in years and there has been no effort on either side to contact one another. The last time I heard from him was via email and quite sometime ago. He even came to Arizona for my brother’s hearing and he made no attempt to contact me to get together. So I say if they are not going to bother…they are not worth the effort. Fuck 'em. Fuckwittage. Davy had checked his email on my sister’s computer and had left the browser open. So Anna had gone through his emails and read them. She came across one from the alleged father that said some very unkindly things. “Carol is sorry for ever trusting Michelle. She says she seemed so sincere when she talked to her, and agreed that you would be better off living with us. I guess we finally realized how she is just like her mother in her ability to deceive. I think we have changed our mind about paying for her schooling if she lives with us. I guess we realize now that she is and has been only using us. There is no give and take, only take. I hope you are beyond that. Love, Dad and Carol.”

Now Carol’s email (stepmom), “David, I’m really sorry. Michelle seems so sincere these days-it sounded like she was for you living with us. But I guess she really can’t be trusted. Bummer. I hope you didn’t get into too much trouble over this.”

I had talked to Carol over the phone and at the time Davy had gone out to visit them in Portland, Or and he did not want to come home to his mother's. He wanted to stay out there, but Doofis (Aka sperm donor, Aka alleged father) and Betty are both unfit parents and Davy and I should of been put somewhere else far away from both fuckwittages. So I had told Carol that Davy should stay there and then I had talked to my sister and I changed my mind. Because sperm donor is a child molester (once a sex offender, always a sex offender. Just ask a therapist they'll tell you the same thing.) So even though Betty is fucked up I agreed with Anna that Doofis would be worse in the long run. So Carol had been all excited about me agreeing with them and then I changed my mind. But it was not like I was medling, so I do not understand why they got so angry.

I remember when I was little, four at the OLDEST. In our house in Colorado Springs, Co. I had loved to vacuum the stairs and I was downstairs vacuuming. I was then playing with god what are the called. It was a piece of cardboard with a plastic red pen like object and there was a thin sheet on grey paper like plastic sheet that had a black piece underneath. You would draw on it and then lift the gray sheet to 'erase' it. Well anyways I was playing with that and trying to show Doofis it and I just remember him being 'busy' and blowing me off.

Another time I was trying to show him something and he was reading the newspaper and in that "in a minute" which really meant...soon you will forget about it and you will stop bothering me in the meantime. And he was always working on his lame ass jeep, that would be a another good reason to just blow me off. But my favorite was when Betty was doing some bill crap, probably going through the mail and paying off bills. I am not sure though I was still quite young. And she told Doofis to take us to the Wild Animal Park and he's like "Why don't you?!" Hello. I am right fucking here, I hate you ALL. So she was bitching at him and saying she was actually busy and wanted him to take Davy and I. I am not sure if he did or not in the end. But that's the part that sticks. I hate parents. They fuck up their kids so well.

I remember him crying when he was moving out when they were getting a divorce. Davy and I were playing Terminator on Super NES. I just remember being mad because I had to pause my game. He was crying blah blah and I was like whatever you don't give a shit. I was like in 3rd grade and I already knew.

As I aged I had Betty telling Davy and I that Doofis did not give a shit about us. I had always told myself she was wrong, I felt that somewhere some part had to care a little bit even though all of the signs pointed to NEGATIVE. So those emails were like a slap in the face, I had already known for years but I guess I was in denile some part. I would agree with Betty but hold a sliver of hope inside that she could not see or touch. Then I came to my senses and realized, I don't think he ever cared or will ever care. It was the worse stab in the back I have ever had and believe me I have had my share.

I feel so stupid for protecting both of them. I wish I had lied and made-up a story that Doofis, and told them about Betty. I should have just let CPS take Davy and myself. Both of em are definately fucked so what to lose? But we'd always lie to CPS about Betty and if they found out about Betty and her lack or parenting we could of ended up at Doofis's. And I didn't want that, even less than Betty's.

Good times. I will add more here later. I am bored for now.

Sunday. Eric came down Friday night and stuff...

We went to Sun City to see Daniel and his family. Daniel's uncle and dad were quite entertaining to say the least! We went to Applebees with Dan and his sister Barbara. I have heard her name a little before yadda yadda. Omg....so she says the rudest thing on the planet...like EW. Bitch. I don't think I was saying "I hate this..." about much of anything but APPARENTLY she felt I hated everything...she yells...."Do you like ANYTHING?! Do you even like ME?!" I was SHOCKED. Like I just met the bitch. I was NOT be outwardly rude or anything. I was even talking to her a few spats. But she's just....Ew. That just made me want to gag. So I was disgustingly nice to her after that. Whatever. But later we met the rest of their fam and they were funny so it was cool. But omg...who SAYS THAT? "do you even like me?" Okay, I just met you...so if I don't like you....who fucking cares! And second...wtf made her think I hated her. I mean yeah, I did not really like her because...well...lots of reasons. I don't want to get into it. I told Kieta and she's like OMG EW I hate her and I don't even know her! LOL. So yay! I totally have somebody on my side. =Þ

I added some more bickering!

Oh and then Barbara said they needed to get a picture with Eric and so she skoots over to him and Dan sits on the other side or whatever and I Dan's dad gets his digital camera and took a few pictures. Okay...umm whenver I am in scenarios somebody will say, "Hey, Michelle come get over here." Nope. Not that I wanted to be in the picture, but fuck off bitch. I seriously wanted to grab her by the hair drag her skinny ass outside and kick her until she stood up then I would fucking step on her hurt toe until she screamed! It was just not a cool thing to do. Whaetever. I shall hopefully never see her again so it's fine bye me!

Eric's B-day was the 22nd Thu. I am writing this after the fact...but I believe he came down Friday night. I am poor so I made him a lame little card. I say lame because it was not half as cool as I wanted it to look, but I'll get there. Practice makes perfect. So I had to do something a little more creative...yup. Did not exactly work out like I planned because well...Eric was grinning a little too much and I was not drunk enough to be that um...ya. Stuff. It was fun none-the-less and now I have some more black barely there pieces of clothing in my underwear drawer! I tried to get a super spiffy bra to match the whole garter thing but I could not. It was tragic! So I had to wear one that I already owned. It was so sad. Next time maybe it will actually go as planned. Jeez!

Davy's Hearing. Also David's B-day! Good times! Davy's next hearing is 7/22...Eric's B-day! Isn't that fucking scary!?! The last hearing was Elanna's b-day (the new addition to the practically mormon Field home!) she was born that day very same day. Freaky shit.

After all of that I did not get to be in the courtroom because the newest addition to the Field family was starting to fuss so I had to sit outside of that room holding her with everybody looking at me like "OMG that girl is way too young to have a baby!" What a blast. But now over a week later, Davy has been incarcerated. He'll be in baby jail for five years unless he gets out on 2 and a half with good behavior. I am just glad the shit head is in there. God damn my family is fucked up. Good times. L8

Eric helped me take my car into the shop today. A new place I have not been to before but Anna said they were cool. Autobionics and not too far BFE where I live! They had to replace the ignition switch, so that's why my damn car was not starting! Bastard! It was almost $300. That fucking car will be the end of me!