returned to Phx. ! Eric almost broke my fingers!

Amanda Cox's wedding was yesterday. It is confirmed, I hate weddings. They are so boring! Amanda looked gorgeous (I really liked her dress) and the place they picked was cute I guess. I just think the whole wedding thing is some lame performance for people to be the center of attention. Not too mention the whole white dress thing, please very few people actually have the right to wear white. It is my belief that everybody should elope so nobody is obligated to go to a wedding. Plus it is not like I am great friends with Amanda. At least I got to be Anna's date (that's hot). She took me instead of her husband David.

Not too menti0n all of this Eric drama makes it hard to not just go around killing random people just for the hell of it. It's exhausting trying to pretend to be happy and like there is nothing wrong. Although I am quite good at it. ;)

Eric called me and I said well....what is your decision. To my disbelief he said 'I want you to move out here.' I was shocked and was not sure I heard him correctly so I made him repeat it. Yup, sure enough he had consumed quite alot of crack that day and he said he wanted me to move there. Obviously I am kidding about the freaking crack. Unless....j/k.

So anyways....there were of course conditions. None were too severe. He even did not mind that I was moving my cat Kai there. Because everybody knows I am not leaving my pussy behind. teehee. Then here came the weirdest part....

"If we're going to do this I want to do right away. Can you be here by the end of the month?" Dude that's like two weeks! Not only did the freak ask me to move there but he wanted me to pack and move across the country (driving none the less) from AZ to FL. So of course I said that would be impossible. I was honestly taken by complete surprise for so many different reasons. First off he wanted to move there. That was alot on its' own, second NOW. I was expecting 6months - a yr! But I figured he was certainly going to say what he'd said before that it was not a good idea.

He sounded kind of hurt at my lack of enthusaism. I tried to explain that it was just shock and I was completely unprepared. Well then came the lists. He started asking me what I needed to do so I could move there ASAP. The plan was to be there before Thanksgiving (my birthday also) and be there early Nov.

He made a list and emailed it to me of things I needed to do. Which he perfected a little later with all sorts of details. Like things to check on my car for the drive. All sorts of little things. He sounded so excited and urgent. Once he had his heart set on it he could not wait. Especially since he had not started actually flying in his flight program yet....

So I consumed a little alochol and drunk dialed Eric. I was not drunk but I had a very good buzz, just enough to give me so balls. I came out and said basically 'wtf is going on' it was another one of those am I ever moving out to FL or not conversations. And the other conversations like these have never turned out well so you can imagine how much I was looking forward to do this all once again.

He said he was not sure if he wanted me to move out there or not. I said after dating for freaking 3.5 yrs that his highness should know. He said he was not sure bla bla bla. There was more dialouge but who cares about the small stuff. So he said Okay I will tell you tommorow. Fine, fine, fine. I can wait that long.

Sun. 21rst saw Alonso at Tempe improv w/Anna and Kieta. He was on the last Comic Standing and he won on the season three. One of his first jokes was that he had won season three but they didn't air it once they found out a black man won. He delivers all of his jokes very well so the entire time we were just busting lots of guts.

I just feel these lyrics really well lately. I am on a big Kelly kick right now. I love "Since You Been Gone" too.

Kelly Clarkson - "Behind These Hazel Eyes"

Seems like just yesterday
You were a part of me
I used to stand so tall
I used to be so strong
Your arms around me tight
Everything, it felt so right
Unbreakable, like nothin' could go wrong
Now I can't breathe
No, I can't sleep
I'm barely hanging on


Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes


I told you everything
Opened up and let you in
You made me feel alright
For once in my life
Now all that's left of me
Is what I pretend to be
So together, but so broken up inside
'Cause I can't breathe
No, I can't sleep
I'm barely hangin' on


Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes


Swallow me then spit me out
For hating you, I blame myself
Seeing you it kills me now
No, I don't cry on the outside
Anymore...Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes


Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I

I feel like I should post something but I dont know what to post. I can not think on the spot with Kai sitting on me as I type looking super adorable and purring. Little furry bastard.