11/11/07

Wow, I have no posted here in a billion years. I need privacy, this blog allows me that. I am so frustrated. I have sent the sperm donor and email to open the door a little over a month ago now and the douche bag never responded. I do not know if I am more angry at his lack of an ickling of caring or the fact that it bothers me as much as it does. I am exhausted and drained from head to toe. Consumed with a kind of loneliness I would not wish upon anyone and the lack of understanding how somebody could be so cold. I started to write a letter to him or myself. I have yet to determine whether I will bother to send such a letter. I will not receive a response. However will it help me to send a letter and not receive a response or hinder me further? Is the act of writing the letter enough to give me solace? These are questions that are running through my mind 24/7.

I can not even shed a tear right now since I am on default anger and frustration. I just want to cause pain and devastation nothing more. I can not even add to the letter.