Thursday

Eric had a half day at work and then he drove us down to Orange County. I asked him how long the drive would be "Four or Five hours right?" He just kind of shrugged and didn't really agree or disagree. Well because the freaking drive was more like seven hours. It was so boring. It's retarded. I don't know how we're still dating half of the time. It's like I have nothing to say and he never starts any conversations on his own ever. EVER. So it's just like um seven hours of freaking nothing but listening to the radio. It's retarded. I fucking hate being stuck in the car for long periods of time to begin with let alone with somebody who does not fucking talk. I hate driving with him. Ugh. Boy suck. I need to learn the art of lesbian sex. Lol like it's so hard but apparently men have so much trouble learning the art.

Tuesday

We out to this pizza place for dinner and let me just describe the employees working that evening to help you get a feel. Two hispanic teenage boys, one slightly overweight the other obese. And a girl who I would guess was about 19 or 20. She looked like a bad mix of punk and goth. She looked like she could have been really cute if she hadn't stuck with one style and had it done well. She looked a little stuck on herself thought, which just makes me laugh. Well we ordered a vegetarian pizza with pineapple instead of olives. (Eric is a freak and does not like olives!) Eric was playing an arcade game and I just watched and waited for our pizza. Yum greasy goodness.

The obese guys came over with the pizza and said they messed up and they put olives on it and suggested that they could make a medium pizza that would be correct. Eric was playing the game and told me to decide so I told them sure. He offered and he did not seem angry or anything so sure what the hell they fucked-up. Give me my free pizza.

So anyways to the point of this glorious story. Eric ate mostly the smaller pizza and I didn't eat any of that since it had no olives and I like olives etc. At 3 a.m. I woke-up when Eric got out of bed and I saw him stop at the doorway and stop and there was a splashing sound. I asked what happened and he replied that he threw-up. Well I got up and checked on him, he was in the bathroom which was right outside of his bedroom so if he had just made it about 4 feet more that lovely mess of vomit would have been on the tile. Damn it. Well he was in the bathroom and he threw-up again this time in the toilet and still was sick.

I got a roll of papertowels and asked for some carpet cleaner. Luckily Eric had a bottle of resolve. I do not know why but anyways I got to work. The aroma of stomach acid was the worst part but it was dissipating quickly which was good and bad. Bad because it absorbing into the carpet and quickly. It seriously took like an entire roll of towels. And believe me I am very very very against not wasting papertowels but in this case I made an exception. The chunks of partially digested cheese made cleaning pretty hard but I got it out and then went to bed. Needless to say Eric called in to work the next morning.

Monday

Anna drove me to the airport for my flight to Sacremento, CA to see Eric. He had called me like Saturday night and told me to arrange it to come out for Christmas and he would buy the ticket. Shockingly by Sunday night I had gotten all of my shifts covered. So Eric bought a ticket for me to leave Monday night and return January 7th, Friday night.

I had a stop in Ontario with not much layover. But I do not mind stops because it gives me a chance to walk around and pee. I had peeing on airplanes for some reason. I always have hated it and avoid it like the plague.

I arrived in Sacremento which is a really tiny airport which surprised me considering it's the capitol of California and an international airport! Eric was outside waiting at the curb and when I went out I just started putting my bags in the car. He didn't even make any advances to give me a huge or anything. Boys are so lame. I know you may be thinking, well why didn't I? Because...I want to see if he does and hello...he has the penis which means he is the one who is supposed to do the advances.

Then we went out to dinner and it was sorta late so we went to Lyons. Which I have never heard of, but it's like a Denny's just nicer and has a better menu.

Wed.

I had the day off today! I went to Ihop with Kieta, Anna and her zillion children (four actually but omg it feels like 10!) Then Kieta wanted to get a pedicure so I went with her but fuck if I am going to get a pedicure in a place like that by weird ppl with probably dirty stuff. No way. Paula Abdul had a staff infection from a botched manicure! And you damn well KNOW she spends a lot of dough on her manicures...so fuck that. I've read an article on a news site...CNN I think. This chick got her eyebrows waxed and got herpes in her EYE! From contaminated utensils. Fuck that. I'll stick with doing it myself!

I went with Betty to her dentist appointment and then we went to see "The Grudge" omg it was CRAZY. I loved it. It's so intense. Scary shit. I love scary movies.

Sun.

Fri. and Sat. I had called in the morning to see if the managers would allow me to not work in the morning and they let me so at least I got to hang-out with Eric a little bit before work at dinner. Yay.

I tried and tried to get Sunday morning covered but none of the girls at the front desk would/could bla blah. Sucks ass. So I went home and talked with Eric and Anna then we went to Sweet Tomato in Tempe then I had to take him to the airport. Blows ass that I had to work this morning I wanted to hang-out with Eric on his damn last day. Fuckers. Damn mormons and their stupid ass church. I wish they'd realize they were in a cult and give-up! Mormons....somebody accidently but an extra 'M' in there. Morons.

Thu.

I had the day off! So Eric and I went to see Shark Tale and got sushi on his dad. I think it was a b-day gift for Eric to take me out to dinner. I dunno but it was cool. It hurt to eat the damn salmon and shrimp though. I had teryaki salmon too omg it's so good. Shark Tale was cute bu Eric thinks that Finding Nemo was better, but I am not sure if I agree.

Wed.

My teeth still hurt, achying ickyness.

But omg yay! Eric's car is in the shop still and was supposed to be finished Tue. but they said it won't be until Thu. or Fri. because of the rain in Cali. So Eric flew out this morning at 7:05 he arrived in Phx. Kieta and Anna bought the ticket as his graduation gift. He has to leave Sun. night tho which blows that's only 5 days I get to see him and then he has to go back to Cali...forever! Agh. I didn't even know he was coming out until last night SO...I have to work tonight...a double Fri. and Sat. (which means...10:45-10:30 both Fri/Sat) and Sun 9-3 at the gym. I am so angry at the timing.

I got sick tonight at work, I don't think it's the flu though. I think because I have not been eating because it hurts but I'm still taking ibuprofen...alot of it....I got sick. I threw-up at work and afterwards I felt fine. So I decided to stick it out...then I felt sick again and threw-up again. Mark this cook in training heard me and told the G.M. he would expo for me because I was sick. So I asked Grady the G.M. if I could go and he was cool with it. So I got home at around 6:30 or 7 but I threw-up at least 2-3 more times at home and one on the drive, I stopped at a Shell gas station. I ate a tiny bit of soup with crackers but it hurt.

Today I got my braces on! I got clear on the top which was $300 more. So I put down a $1,000 for a deposit now I have to pay $159 a month on the 15th of each month for the next....18 months! It's a long time but considering that's not bad at all! I just REALLY hope that the orthodontist is correct and it does not run longer...if it does those months are $100 a month. Betty gave me $1400 for my braces. I have the other $400 in a separate savings account to keep her money seperate from my other savings. Because that money is strictly for braces etc. So....ya. It sux ass it's hard to eat! I can not chew cooked linguni noodles! OMG AGH! I'm taking ibuprofen for the aching. The tooth I have a crown on is the one that hurts...it's really achy and tight up top. I can not wait to see how straight my teeth will be!

I paid 350 for rent today.

370 + 185 = 555 I owed.

I paid 200 so now I owe 355 for STUFF. Including pet deposit and computer. So yay. I paid her some money. Just 355 more to go!

Okay so here's the money (oh damn the money) situation as it stands now. This is for my records more than anything so you can just ignore this. I just need to keep track somewhere a little more permanent.

July rent paid
August rent paid

I still owe Kieta $185 for damages from Socks to the old house.
Plus utilities etc.

Computer
I paid $300 upfront in
April: Paid $100
May: Paid $100
Total: $500

I still owe $370

Just random bickering.

I have not talked to my father in years and there has been no effort on either side to contact one another. The last time I heard from him was via email and quite sometime ago. He even came to Arizona for my brother’s hearing and he made no attempt to contact me to get together. So I say if they are not going to bother…they are not worth the effort. Fuck 'em. Fuckwittage. Davy had checked his email on my sister’s computer and had left the browser open. So Anna had gone through his emails and read them. She came across one from the alleged father that said some very unkindly things. “Carol is sorry for ever trusting Michelle. She says she seemed so sincere when she talked to her, and agreed that you would be better off living with us. I guess we finally realized how she is just like her mother in her ability to deceive. I think we have changed our mind about paying for her schooling if she lives with us. I guess we realize now that she is and has been only using us. There is no give and take, only take. I hope you are beyond that. Love, Dad and Carol.”

Now Carol’s email (stepmom), “David, I’m really sorry. Michelle seems so sincere these days-it sounded like she was for you living with us. But I guess she really can’t be trusted. Bummer. I hope you didn’t get into too much trouble over this.”

I had talked to Carol over the phone and at the time Davy had gone out to visit them in Portland, Or and he did not want to come home to his mother's. He wanted to stay out there, but Doofis (Aka sperm donor, Aka alleged father) and Betty are both unfit parents and Davy and I should of been put somewhere else far away from both fuckwittages. So I had told Carol that Davy should stay there and then I had talked to my sister and I changed my mind. Because sperm donor is a child molester (once a sex offender, always a sex offender. Just ask a therapist they'll tell you the same thing.) So even though Betty is fucked up I agreed with Anna that Doofis would be worse in the long run. So Carol had been all excited about me agreeing with them and then I changed my mind. But it was not like I was medling, so I do not understand why they got so angry.

I remember when I was little, four at the OLDEST. In our house in Colorado Springs, Co. I had loved to vacuum the stairs and I was downstairs vacuuming. I was then playing with god what are the called. It was a piece of cardboard with a plastic red pen like object and there was a thin sheet on grey paper like plastic sheet that had a black piece underneath. You would draw on it and then lift the gray sheet to 'erase' it. Well anyways I was playing with that and trying to show Doofis it and I just remember him being 'busy' and blowing me off.

Another time I was trying to show him something and he was reading the newspaper and in that "in a minute" which really meant...soon you will forget about it and you will stop bothering me in the meantime. And he was always working on his lame ass jeep, that would be a another good reason to just blow me off. But my favorite was when Betty was doing some bill crap, probably going through the mail and paying off bills. I am not sure though I was still quite young. And she told Doofis to take us to the Wild Animal Park and he's like "Why don't you?!" Hello. I am right fucking here, I hate you ALL. So she was bitching at him and saying she was actually busy and wanted him to take Davy and I. I am not sure if he did or not in the end. But that's the part that sticks. I hate parents. They fuck up their kids so well.

I remember him crying when he was moving out when they were getting a divorce. Davy and I were playing Terminator on Super NES. I just remember being mad because I had to pause my game. He was crying blah blah and I was like whatever you don't give a shit. I was like in 3rd grade and I already knew.

As I aged I had Betty telling Davy and I that Doofis did not give a shit about us. I had always told myself she was wrong, I felt that somewhere some part had to care a little bit even though all of the signs pointed to NEGATIVE. So those emails were like a slap in the face, I had already known for years but I guess I was in denile some part. I would agree with Betty but hold a sliver of hope inside that she could not see or touch. Then I came to my senses and realized, I don't think he ever cared or will ever care. It was the worse stab in the back I have ever had and believe me I have had my share.

I feel so stupid for protecting both of them. I wish I had lied and made-up a story that Doofis, and told them about Betty. I should have just let CPS take Davy and myself. Both of em are definately fucked so what to lose? But we'd always lie to CPS about Betty and if they found out about Betty and her lack or parenting we could of ended up at Doofis's. And I didn't want that, even less than Betty's.

Good times. I will add more here later. I am bored for now.

Sunday. Eric came down Friday night and stuff...

We went to Sun City to see Daniel and his family. Daniel's uncle and dad were quite entertaining to say the least! We went to Applebees with Dan and his sister Barbara. I have heard her name a little before yadda yadda. Omg....so she says the rudest thing on the planet...like EW. Bitch. I don't think I was saying "I hate this..." about much of anything but APPARENTLY she felt I hated everything...she yells...."Do you like ANYTHING?! Do you even like ME?!" I was SHOCKED. Like I just met the bitch. I was NOT be outwardly rude or anything. I was even talking to her a few spats. But she's just....Ew. That just made me want to gag. So I was disgustingly nice to her after that. Whatever. But later we met the rest of their fam and they were funny so it was cool. But omg...who SAYS THAT? "do you even like me?" Okay, I just met you...so if I don't like you....who fucking cares! And second...wtf made her think I hated her. I mean yeah, I did not really like her because...well...lots of reasons. I don't want to get into it. I told Kieta and she's like OMG EW I hate her and I don't even know her! LOL. So yay! I totally have somebody on my side. =Þ

I added some more bickering!

Oh and then Barbara said they needed to get a picture with Eric and so she skoots over to him and Dan sits on the other side or whatever and I Dan's dad gets his digital camera and took a few pictures. Okay...umm whenver I am in scenarios somebody will say, "Hey, Michelle come get over here." Nope. Not that I wanted to be in the picture, but fuck off bitch. I seriously wanted to grab her by the hair drag her skinny ass outside and kick her until she stood up then I would fucking step on her hurt toe until she screamed! It was just not a cool thing to do. Whaetever. I shall hopefully never see her again so it's fine bye me!

Eric's B-day was the 22nd Thu. I am writing this after the fact...but I believe he came down Friday night. I am poor so I made him a lame little card. I say lame because it was not half as cool as I wanted it to look, but I'll get there. Practice makes perfect. So I had to do something a little more creative...yup. Did not exactly work out like I planned because well...Eric was grinning a little too much and I was not drunk enough to be that um...ya. Stuff. It was fun none-the-less and now I have some more black barely there pieces of clothing in my underwear drawer! I tried to get a super spiffy bra to match the whole garter thing but I could not. It was tragic! So I had to wear one that I already owned. It was so sad. Next time maybe it will actually go as planned. Jeez!

Davy's Hearing. Also David's B-day! Good times! Davy's next hearing is 7/22...Eric's B-day! Isn't that fucking scary!?! The last hearing was Elanna's b-day (the new addition to the practically mormon Field home!) she was born that day very same day. Freaky shit.

After all of that I did not get to be in the courtroom because the newest addition to the Field family was starting to fuss so I had to sit outside of that room holding her with everybody looking at me like "OMG that girl is way too young to have a baby!" What a blast. But now over a week later, Davy has been incarcerated. He'll be in baby jail for five years unless he gets out on 2 and a half with good behavior. I am just glad the shit head is in there. God damn my family is fucked up. Good times. L8

Eric helped me take my car into the shop today. A new place I have not been to before but Anna said they were cool. Autobionics and not too far BFE where I live! They had to replace the ignition switch, so that's why my damn car was not starting! Bastard! It was almost $300. That fucking car will be the end of me!

Finally! A haircut!

I made $50 at lunch today and then went to Supercuts to get my hair trimmed. It was way nasty and I could not handle it anymore. I was going to have Jenny from work do my hair but she's been so busy I just could not wait any longer! Next time...maybe. :)

Thursday *Orthodontic appointment*

Last week I believe it was, maybe the week before. I went to an orthodontist (Dr. Chamberlin in Chandler) and got a free consultation and they wanted $4,780 total for braces with the clear on the top only. The payment plan would be either in one lump sum or over 2-3 months I would have to pay $1,494.99 PLUS the $151 or so a month. AGH!

Today I went to another dentist that accepts Ameriplan, a discount dental company. Dr. Glauser's office which is in Gilbert (only about 5 minutes away from home) and they only want $3,860 total (for clear on the top) with $700 upfront and approx. $170 a month! I could actually afford that! I just have to get another fucking job because Black Angus SUCKS royal dick!

And good news, I only have to wear them for a yr and a half to two years! I can totally handle that! The retainer is a clear tray that is molded to your teeth and you only have to wear it at night but for YEARS and years! Oh well. If I am spending almost four grand for some fucking metal shit in my mouth I am going to wear the damn retainer!

Anna told me about this story she heard in the news today. This black man beat his two year old to death and his lawyer is trying to get him off with "post slave syndrome." EW. The dealio is owners of slaves beat them and now beating is ingrained. That is why he beat his kid to death, uhuh. What kind of lawyer would try to get some asshole off with that shit?! I mean his family have not been enslaved for how many years!? So now what, some Native American is going to scalp a white man and say it is because of "Post Indian Scalp Syndrome?" Whatever fools. People are so dumb!

There's a movie called "Super Size Me" addressing Mcdonald's Americans addiction to fast food it sounds funny. It's a Sundance Film Festival movie and I want to see it but I do not know where to see it. I can not find it any of the theaters here. Hmm. It came out I think May 7th so it may not even be playing anywhere anymore. Oh well. I will wait until it's on dvd then.

*Tuesday* Car Accident
On my way back down to Gilbert from Prescott this afternoon I was on the 101 and I'm not sure exactly the details because it happened so fast. I just remember looking down for a couple of seconds, I looked up and the truck infront of me was either at a full stop or practically was! I slammed on my brakes but I was not in time and my car smashed really well up front. His truck was okay, not a scratch. We hadn't hit bad traffic or anything so I had no reason to believe that there would be a fucking stop for no reason. He told me he had let his foot off of the gas. Okay, good for you! So now my car is an even bigger piece of shit! The glass on my right head light is broken but the light still works, the hood is bent up and it will not fully close. The plastic cheap grill like thing is broken and it just fucking sucks!

I did not report because it's not worth it. I will just fix it on my own and hopefully he won't say he got "whiplash" if he does he's full of shit! Good times. So we exchanged addresses and numbers just in case but we did not file a report because it was not bad for him at all and it was 'my fault.' Oh goodie.

Saturday night.

I expoed and got out of there at about 10:30 which is really good for a Sat. night! I made $85, got gas and coffee and drove up to Prescott. Last Wed. (I think it was Wed!) I went with Kieta and got a new phone and put myself on my own account. I had to put a deposit of $125 down but it will build me credit at least! Hooray! Now I have a super cute flip phone. On the drive to Prescott my phone always cuts out on the mountains and I lose reception but I had reception the ENTIRE way! YAY!

I got to the dorm and called Eric's dorm phone from my cell and nobody answered. I called a few times and no answer still. Luckily this guy came in and I caught the door when he got in. (the door to the hall is locked and I do not have a key! So I have to call somebody to open it) I went in and Eric wasn't in the dorm so I asked Jon Jon and he said Eric was in Katie's room across the hall. I popped my head in and said "Thanks for answering your phone." There was Dave (that's the first time I had ever met him) and he says "I don't you who are you?" I just walked off. Like I give a fuck who you are. He's a total fucking Loser. I can say that after talking to him later, he's a creep and a half with nothing but some stupid little penis driving his life. Pathetic.

Eric walks into the dorm and I was peeing and I open the door and he's standing there and I slammed the door into his toe. I did not do it on purpose but I really did not feel bad when I did it. >=) I could tell he was thinking I was totally overeacting and he was not taking my anger seriously. I just wanted to pop him one. 'Instead of answering your phone your sitting there fucking talking to them, meanwhile I am standing outside waiting. When I fucking drove all the way up here.' I said something along those lines. He's trying to be all comforting and I pushed him off "I'm really freaking mad at you." Jerk. And to top it off his ass was buzzed and he smelled like fucking beer. I hate being around stupid drunk people. They act like morons and I do not want to deal with it. I feel like a babysitter. When he got drunk at Dave's...I swear I just wanted to fucking kill him. People are so dumb.

I still do not think he fucking gets it. His actions said that sitting on his ass drinking talking to some stupid ass mother fucking idiots was more important than me. Fuck you. "Sean could of answered the phone." "He's asleep, he's not going to answer the phone." Not too mention, he's SLEEPING...he should not have to answer the fucking phone. You should have you dumb fuck. Ugh.


Ugh. Eric told me he talked to his mom about the VCR thing. I don't really like that. I don't know about it bugs me, it just does. Ew. She said she did not mean it like that and she was offering to me. Whatever. I think she's full of crap!

Saturday night.

I expoed and got out of there at about 10:30 which is really good for a Sat. night! I made $85, got gas and coffee and drove up to Prescott. Last Wed. (I think it was Wed!) I went with Kieta and got a new phone and put myself on my own account. I had to put a deposit of $125 down but it will build me credit at least! Hooray! Now I have a super cute flip phone. On the drive to Prescott my phone always cuts out on the mountains and I lose reception but I had reception the ENTIRE way! YAY!

I got to the dorm and called Eric's dorm phone from my cell and nobody answered. I called a few times and no answer still. Luckily this guy came in and I caught the door when he got in. (the door to the hall is locked and I do not have a key! So I have to call somebody to open it) I went in and Eric wasn't in the dorm so I asked Jon Jon and he said Eric was in Katie's room across the hall. I popped my head in and said "Thanks for answering your phone." There was Dave (that's the first time I had ever met him) and he says "I don't you who are you?" I just walked off. Like I give a fuck who you are. He's a total fucking Loser. I can say that after talking to him later, he's a creep and a half with nothing but some stupid little penis driving his life. Pathetic.

Eric walks into the dorm and I was peeing and I open the door and he's standing there and I slammed the door into his toe. I did not do it on purpose but I really did not feel bad when I did it. >=) I could tell he was thinking I was totally overeacting and he was not taking my anger seriously. I just wanted to pop him one. 'Instead of answering your phone your sitting there fucking talking to them, meanwhile I am standing outside waiting. When I fucking drove all the way up here.' I said something along those lines. He's trying to be all comforting and I pushed him off "I'm really freaking mad at you." Jerk. And to top it off his ass was buzzed and he smelled like fucking beer. I hate being around stupid drunk people. They act like morons and I do not want to deal with it. I feel like a babysitter. When he got drunk at Dave's...I swear I just wanted to fucking kill him. People are so dumb.

I still do not think he fucking gets it. His actions said that sitting on his ass drinking talking to some stupid ass mother fucking idiots was more important than me. Fuck you. "Sean could of answered the phone." "He's asleep, he's not going to answer the phone." Not too mention, he's SLEEPING...he should not have to answer the fucking phone. You should have you dumb fuck. Ugh.


Ugh. Eric told me he talked to his mom about the VCR thing. I don't really like that. I don't know about it bugs me, it just does. Ew. She said she did not mean it like that and she was offering to me. Whatever. I think she's full of crap!

Today Eric and I left for Cali at about 11:30AM . We were lucky to get to go then, I didn't request Sat night off so Kieta expoed Sat night for me! How cool!

Kent (Eric's dad) was sick so Karil, Jeff, Eric and I went out to the Panda Inn for dinner then rented Officespace. Eric had left the room doing laundry or something and I came into the living room where Jeff and Karil were sitting on the couch and it looked very univiting. I sat in the ugly stiff chair his mom is always in. Eric came in and we could finally start the movie and his mom Karil patted the seat next to her to usher Eric over there away from his seat next to me. Eric just sort of shrugged and Karil made Jeff scooch over to make some more room and patted the fucking seat again. This time Eric went over. The feelings that came over to me may seem oversensitive or weird to you but something about the whole thing was like being shunned out of the area. I felt even more like an outsider than I already did. I was alone. Nobody made a seat for me, which was to be expected because that couch is not that big. Here's the thing I am not sure about...did Karil do it to have Eric there really or was it more like to take him away from me? I think the latter, but who knows. Maybe I am just an irrational typical crazy woman who overeacts to everything. Either way it made me want to leave forever.

The next morning I slept in until noon because well, we were not going anywhere or doing anything any time soon so why get up? It would just be more sitting there trying to think of things to say and trying to ignore the awkward silence. And it also gave Eric, Karil and Jeff some alone time so I felt mighty comfortable just lying in bed and not getting up anytime soon. Jeff was doing Karil's brakes and so we're hanging outside standing around and Karil asks if Eric knows anybody that would like a VCR. I asked her why she VCRs to get rid of. "One is a cheapo I bought for school and other one is my old VCR." Then Eric looks at me and says, "Hey do you want one?" "Sure" So I follow her into the garage and she grabs this one and says, "This is the one from school." I nodded, I did not know if she was digging for the other one or handing me that one. "Well you want it?" So I took it from her. Then she looks at Eric and asks him if he knew anybody else that wanted one.

Recently I saw an episode of Dharma and Gregg that was really interesting. Dharma lost the wedding ring that she had gotten from her mother-in-law (which she had gotten from her mother etc etc) and had lost it. Later on found it and had it cleaned. The jeweler then proceeded to tell her it was a fake. She had given a fake because she did not think the marriage would last, did not trust or really like Dharma.

That's how I felt. She had already told me that was the "cheapo" VCR and gave me it and proceeded to ask if anybody else wanted one. Like somebody better than me. It's cool. I do not mind that she wants to give me the cheap one, especially if she has an idea of whom she wants to give the better one to. That is fine by me. But giving me the cheapo then trying to find a home for the better one while I am still standing right there, it just hurt. I hate people.

Work Wed. morning was fun as usual. It was really slow and I had section 4 with table 8 which I dislike. I got sat an 8 top on table 8. First just a few people had shown up so I got them drinks and when I came back a couple more had appeared, I went and got them drinks. I came back and took their order but they were still expecting one more woman anytime. I punched in their meals and then finally the other woman showed up and after all of that the seating was messed up because they changed seats. When you punch in the food order it is supposed to be in order of seating and so I had to try and fix it when it came out because when you take them their food you are supposed to put it in infront of them without asking them who has what. When the food came out I was dressing and fixing the order of the plates to run it out, which means I was in the back for a little while instead of by my tables.

I ran out the food and came back in the kitchen to get table 8 something when Grady caught me and says "Have you been to table 18?! They have been for awhile and they asked if they had a server!" "I'm sorry Grady I was taking care of table 8! I just got back here." FUCK OFF. I had to take care of that shit, hot food hot remember fuck face. I hate his jerk-off ass.

Then later I these too bitchy ladies (mom and daughter) one of them ordered a salad and I just forgot to bring it out. I was not even busy, I had walked by the table a bunch and they never reminded me or anything. I brought out there food and the mom says "You forgot MY salad." "Omg I am so sorry." "Well I don't want it anymore." She had apparently gone up the podium and told Grady, "We haven't seen our server for awhile and she forgot my salad and I need tobasco sauce." I am not sure when she did it, but I was by the table quite frequently and they had never said anything about a salad or tobasco to me. Fuck off lady. Do you want me to just hover around your table so I can get you something every five seconds when you need something.

I made a web-page for Eric recently as a little gift. I did not get nearly anything done on it though. I just wanted to show it to him so he could work on it as I knew I was not going to get anywhere near I wanted to any time soon. He seems to be enjoying it though which is good! I am totally over the flu now which is awesome because I fucking hate being sick. It is the devil. Fucking children and their germs!

Phil a friend from work is moving to Boston soon so he selling all of his stuff. He has a pleather sofa, sexy black that he paid $300 for a little less than a year ago and he is selling it for $100. He also has two paintings that I want, they match quite well. One is a leopard and the other is a tiger, but it's just their eyes. They are so gorgeous! I can not even begin to express how much I love big cats. I LOVE animals especially wild cats. Omg adore them.

I am a spendaholic! Jesus. I bought some little things off of the PETA website, just buttons, stickers and shit. Like $12 worth. I bought some rubber stamps off of Ebay. I bought a set of 4 drinking glasses with a red chinese dragon on each. I LOVE dragons. Hehe. I found this super cool blue (my favorite color, black is my favorite but it isn't actually a color, so I just say blue) dragon vibrator. Lol. I don't really want one but after seeing that one, dude it's got my name all over it! DUDE seriously. A DRAGON?!?! And it's BLUE!?!? Woah, tell me it's not fate? The only thing is it's a little exspensivo, $120! Yeesh. I need money. Because I spend it like crazy!

Kieta, Candance and I went to see "Mean Girls" today. It was actually really funny. I came up with a better ending for the movie though, if you have not seen it, just don't read this....


I think in the end instead of the guy she was into coming onto the dance floor at the Spring Fling and dancing with her etc. He should not of talked to her in the scene at ALL. Kept some suspense going and in a scene or two, have him ask her for help in math. In the movie she kept asking him for help with math to have an exscuse to talk to him, even though she was really good at math! So it would of been really cute, if in class he had been "Hey,...are you getting this? I need some help here." With a super cute award winning smile. That would of rocked! I should write this shit not there morons!

Sunday. Mother's Day.

God awful. Terrible. Stressful, frustrating, you name it! Arlen did not do anything for me the night before, I should have came in early but since I had not slept well I couldn't get out of bed to come in any earlier! After waking up every hour I just was exhausted! SLEEP! Need more sleep!

I had to expo tons of plates, and do a shit load of side shit because I kept running out of stuff. Managers, servers were not helpful. Mike the runner did help me some at least. He made some blue cheese drips cups. These things I needed because I was out and I had no time to make them at that moment so he made some. Yay. Points for him. I was a terrbile bitch all day. I was pissed at Arlen for fucking me over, servers for leaving shit on the counters instead of putting it away, managers for not assisting me, and myself for working at that shithole! Lol.

Saturday. Yeah!

I still felt kind of shitty still and was really tired. I went to work at 4pm like normal though. The smell of the grease made my stomach churn but I did not feel like I had to go to the restroom, just knotted. Arlen the shitty expo came in at 5 because we were expected to be really busy, which of course we weren't. But it was okay to me tonight since I did not feel up to par to handle it on my own! I got to leave at 9pm to leave Arlen to close on his own. He collected the tips and left my half with a manager. $51 which is not $100 but I would not have gone to work if I had been by myself, so that was 50 dollars more than I would have had.

Graduation at 10 Am oustide with lots of people, not exactly my cup of tea. Surprisingly in the HUGE crowd I was able to find his family already sitting down and I sat behind them. Only his mom noticed me coming behind and was looking for a way to make me a seat but I shrugged and said it was okay to sit back there. The ceremony seemed long but it only lasted 2 hrs, the sun beating down doesn't help much. This old dude gave an awfully boring speech. The valedictorian (I have nO IDEA how to spell that!...I just checked and OMG I spelled it correctly! Yay) gave a pretty funny speech so he gets points from me! I got some sun on my shoulders which later turned from pink to a little brown. Cool! I am fucking white so I need all the sun I can get. I had my sweater on during most of the ceremony because it was windy enough.

After second Lieutenant Eric Allen Krogue got his 'diploma' which didn't have the diploma yet because he still has school. He was just walking because he will be finished in September and there won't be a ceremony then! We for Chinese food at our newly discovered chinese place something Garden over by the Safeway. Then we went for coffee at the Mud Hole. Neither of us had been there before but it was cool and I would totally go back! It has a much atmosphere than places like Starbucks. Starbucks is a buy your coffee and leave kind of place, coffee 'houses' are a much more hang-out sort of place. Some morons just haven't discovered that good old Starbucks isn't a great hang-out.

Eric woke-up and had to go to a practic ceremony and then he came back to get me for a luncheon in the old gym. We ate a little bit of food and left. On to the commincement....

Eric's commencement was at 3pm at the DLC which they have recently renovated and it looks much nicer now. There were some seats in the last couple of rows on the end marked 'Krogue' so I sat on the aisle and waited for people to show up! Eric's family and my family were all LATE! Eric's mother Karil, dad Kent, Brother Jeff, and Grandpa all came in after it had started but before the actual commencements had begun I believe. My brother-in-law David and my roomate, friend, sister Kieta got lost on their drive because they couldn't follow my simple directions. So they came in during the commencements but luckily, before Eric's! That would sucked ass for them to have come ALL the way up there and to have missed it all. The actually ceremony part was kind of weird but the pictures at the end of all the commencies throughout their lives was cute. Everybody 'awd' at Eric's picture of him sleeping on the staircase. Even Kieta says "Aw, WiTtLe Eric." It is quite amusing.

Then we hung-out in the lower hanger for a little bit and it was kind of weird with all of his family and some of mine. Kieta was bored so I was trying to keep her entertained so we walked around a little bit and went to the restroom for awhile, yes typical girls. But where else can you and escape all of the boys you so desperately need to discuss? Nowhere! Exactly! We went back to Eric's dorm where we waited for him to shower and change, also kill a little time because our dinner 'reservation' at the Outback Steakhouse was not until 7:30. It was early yet. We went a little early and waited outside and us girls were FREEZING, damn those skirts! It wasn't cold but the breeze was freakin' chilly! So that made it quite uncomfortable. We waited until about 8pm and finally we got in...they had told us when we arrived that the wait was about 30-40 minutes long. Since they went over their maximum time given David was able to get free appetizers for us. The group got three, a Wild West Onion (blooming onion), weird mushroom thingys (ew!) and shrimp thingys. They had almost no non-meat items and the waiter mentioned a pasta with alfredo that was no longer on the menu that I could have. I ordered that and it was pretty good. Everything I think went pretty well all and all and I had fun with everybody.

Eric's family was great, even his mom seems to warming up a little. It always seems to me like she dislikes me quite a bit but this time I didn't feel that so much. Maybe she was just in a really good mood, who knows. But I liked her alot more this time around. Which is good because I do not like not getting along with people, especially family of the guy I am dating. Jeff was really quite, but I knew ahead of time he would be shy.

Thursday night....

I felt totally fine up until I late tonight. My stomach felt sooooooo crampy! I went to bed and woke-up at around 7Am...and ran to the bathroom. God damn the flu! ERGH! I called in sick for work at noon and slept all day until like 4:30PM. Then I watched a couple movies because my back hurt SO bad I could not lay on it anymore and try to sleep I just could not sleep anymore. So I needed something to help me ignore it. To concentrate on ya know?

I worked this morning, went home and stuck around and left for Prescott around 7:30 pm. Went to a gas station and I was off. Sean was kind enough to give up his bed for the evening and take the couch in the lounge.

Last night after I got off of work I watched like 20 PETA tv videos and read some articles. I have finally had the kick in the ass to make me become a full fledged vegetarian. I was only eating chicken and the rare piece of turkey but after watching the "Meet your Meat" video with Alec Baldwin...that's it. I am finally going to stop eating meat altogether, which was my initial goal it was just hard so I hadn't given it all up yet.

I can not believe the god awful things that we do to animals, millions of them everyday. For human consumption, fur coats, circuses, animal dissection. I will never participate in the dissections of animals again. And everybody I know will hear about this. I think everybody should be forced to watch PETA videos. There's a blindfold over everybody's eyes and most people dont gives a shit enough about anything but themselves to lift the blindfold. Last night has changed my life and I feel a huge sense of guilt, anger and sadness.

It's my view. If you really want to comsume the flesh of animals because you think that animals were put here for you to eat, or they just taste too good to give up. That's fine, if they humanely raise and animals to be killed I wouldn't agree with it because I do not think that we need meat to survive, we are past that now. But don't you agree that they need to at least make it a humane death? Being burned alive to remove your hair? How would you like it? If there was a people farm omg that would be suht down before they had a chance to get started. So what makes us so great that we reserve the right to torture, mame and murder innocent animals for an addition roll in our guts?

Why do people think they are so great? Because we have built so much? Because we walk upright? Yeah, whatever. I think the human race has come so far and all we are doing is destroying everything. The ecosystem, we're constantly making animals extinct. (But do keep in mind that some animals would proabably be extinct naturally) But not the hundreds daily that because of our selfishness and greed we are eradicating hundreds.

All I have to say is.... read Ishmael and really pay close attention. What do you think?

Watch "Meet your Meat" and if you're still able to eat meat even though you know and have seen for yourself that millions of animals and beaten, injected with hormones that makes them fat so fast that they're bodies can not keep up and they can not walk, they're burned alive, their throats are slit as they dangle squeeling in terror and pain. If you can still eat meat...I don't know what to tell you. But I am disappointed. If enough people stop the consumption of meat it will force the industry to humanely kill the animals at least. Please, help.

I dislike Beyonce! Okay...so PETA has written her PR and shit letters concerning her 'furs' and she has ingnored them and continued to wear the skin and fur of innocent tortured and killed animals. Why? So she can look good when there are tons of perfectly faux fur that is very authentic looking. Bitch. So now they have written a public letter for people to read and bashing her name a little by lettinng the public know about the situation. Omg if I go to one of those premieres...I would give her a piece of mind. I would wear the biggest sign under a jacket and make sure that EVERYBODY noticed what I had to say.

I am going to back track for a bit...I am not sure how long ago this was...wait I am wrong! It was Dec. 13th...I am going to post it there then...read it there if you want to hear me rant...more!

Why are boys so weird? They seriously drive me crazy! So here's how it goes...Eric use to send me text messages all of the time. Cute/funny ones like "Thinkin' of u," and he rarely sends any anymore. It's not like he's saying this kind of crap in another medium either...like email, letters whatever. Nope...just sort of stopped. Whatever. Again, boys are DUMB. It's shit like that makes girls think they're mad at them. But who knows, maybe he's just well...a typical male and they always turn dull after some time. Dull as in they don't try to do anything new and cute anymore they just sort of stop. Or maybe he is secretly holding a grudge for something. Who knows. The wonderful world of the male mind. It makes no fucking sense.

Next topic. Anybody who has not read Ishmael...dude read it. I am about half way thru it and it's great. I wish people would take this book to heart and make some fucking changes!

Today I packed up some boxes...I packed up some nicknack junk I have. I collect M&M junk, dragons, and just animals in general. I packed up that stuff so I don't have to when we move in June. I want it all just done so I get other things done and concentrate on other things. Ya know. I was a lazy ass and was up until after 3AM and plannned on getting up at 10 but when my alarm went off I had to kill it! I didn't get out of bed until 2pm!! I am the queen of lazyness. I almost crawled back into bed after getting up! The house is such a mess and everythings just BLAW! It's like what's the point of being awake! Agh. I packed up some clothes that I bought online to return so I can drop them off tommorow. I bought this bikini (yeah, wtf is wrong with me?!?! Me?! A BIKINI!?!? I think hell froze over) and it doesn't look as cute as it did in the picture, the color is a little brighter. I like dark colors. Sorry I can't stand bright colors. Not for clothing, it just looks so fugly.

Tonight I got to watch the O.C. omg I lOVE seth coehn (sp) he's so fucking cute! Yay. Then Kieta came home with three movies, "Lost in Translation," "Brother" and "In the mood for love." Which her "long lost twin brother" (this guy that she's friends with online that she has a shit load in common with!) who is way into films recommended. We watched "Lost in Translation," and it's incredibley slow. If it wasn't for Bill Murray's sense of humor it would be awful but there is some humor and the female lead has potential cuteness. They did a great job acting but I don't think it made up for the lack of story. Here's the story...

Bill Murray's character is in Tokyo filming an ad for whiskey where he meets the female lead (Charlotte I think her character name was!) where she is staying with her husband. They are both bored out of their minds, obviously depressed, and don't know what they're doing with there lives. They meet and become friends and they're bonding comforts them. Bill Murray is having problems with his wife and Charlotte is having problems with her photographer (he's working in Tokyo for the week) husband so their bond keeps pushing the bar and you're left wondering whether the next scence will be them in bed together. They do eventually end up lying on a bed talking but clothed and nothing does ever happen. It's as if they've known eachother forever and when the week is over he's going back home to L.A. and they say good-bye and hug etc. I guess you are supposed to be left with a sense of loss? Heartache for them? Well, Kieta nor I felt these emotions. It was obvious that they were going to separate like that and it was not emotional. The director chick also directed "Virgin Suicides" which I didn't really like because it was just too weird. But it was intense and alot of crazy shit happened so you kept expecting something to HAPPEN in this film but nothing happened. I personally feel that this movie was artsy and only artsy....it lacked a climax!

Brother stars Omar Epps (yum*) and some Japanese dude. Lol. Well it's actually really good! This guy from Japan moves to L.A. with his little half brother because things are too hot at home. His brother is into selling drugs and his brother Anishi beats up their supplier because he's increased his price and he's just being an asshole. Anishi is a hard ass and he can literally kill a room full os psychos before they realize he even entered the room. No joke he is just crazy. So they all end up having this big company selling and they're totally rich. But the mafia wants a 50% cut and they don't want to give it to them. So they end up in war...it gets UGLY. The entire film is filled with crazy ass bloody killing scences that just sort of happen without any warning and it's just cool.

Eric's a dork. A while ago I was asking him what he thought was gonna happen when he graduated (he's leaving in September for Tech. school in Texas) and then he'll be god knows where. His response was "I haven't thought about it, I'm a guy!" What is wrong males? How could you not think about it? Ergh. Well I hope he has fun in wherever. Kieta's mom Brenda was asking Kieta "are you sure you want to live with Michelle...I mean isn't she going to marry Eric?" Dude seriously I feel BOMBARDED. Kieta told her well she'll probably at least live with me for a year. Kieta was asking me what was going to happen when Eric left and I said I dunno because he hasn't thought about it. She agreed with me, how could you NOT think about it?!?! Lol. She mentioned, of course he has to of thought about it, because there goes his booty-call. Hah. Seriously! But whatever if he hasn't thought about then whatever...obviously he doesn't give a shit or something.

I'm being attacked from everybody. Freakin' even Davis at dinner was like "Are you guys going to get married?" Is it a conspiracy? Everybody is coming to get me...I know it they're after me!! I'm not even 21 yet and people are asking me if I am going to get married. Ew. Leave me alone, ARGH. Like okay, if it happens it happens...I'm not itchin' for anything. "What's the rush" is what I tell everybody that bugs me about it.

A week or so ago Kieta was telling about a story of a friend purposing, she starts..."Tell me if you think this is romantic or lame." This guy in Army gets some of his Army buddies to conspire on kiddnapping his girlfriend. While she's playing tag-football at church with her dad the paster, the only one who knows about the kidnapping they grab her. He puts a paper bag on her head and everything and then takes it off and proposes. Um, I think it's very yucky. An A for creativity but and F on romance. It turns out it was Jesse Stoda a friend of my sister's family. Ew. Okay....it would of been cool if he had kidnapped and taken her somewhere cool, like a week-end trip camping, or whatever. And then while they were there to pop the question but to drag her off like that...also what if the rest of her family/friends freaked out and tried to stop them and things turned ugly.

Friday we walked over to Subway and later around 5:30 we went to Dinning out @ the same place they had my prom. The Prescott Villas I think it's called. When my sister Anna was in New Zealand she bought this gorgeus blue asian dress. It's really pretty so I wore that to Dinning Out. Eric was dressed to the T in his air force uniform lol just like Prom. Ha. (Dinning out is a formal dinner for the air force) His suite mate Jamie (ew) took a couple pictures of us in the hallway before we left.

Dinning out was pretty boring because we got there after everybody was talking and hanging-out and that obviously was the HIGHLIGHT of the event. I wish we had gotten there sooner so I could of talked to people I haven't seen in years! Lol. Go figure. Hindsight 22. Well...I noticed people (especially girls) looking at me...I dunno if they were negative glares...maybe because it wasn't a full length dress like formal dresses are supposed to be? It was formal in everything else though so I didn't give a fuck. Oh well. Maybe they were just jealous. Lol.

My friend Matt Tiexera played the nation anthem (ew) on the trumphet I think it was? Anyways I have to remember to IM him and congratulate him on his playing because it was good. A shitty song but he played well. I saw TJ, Ken and umm I can't remember the other band member. lol. Ken looked really gross, all fuzzy and shit. Why do guys think it is okay to not shave for weeks?? It looks NASTY! I don't mind goatees on some men like my brother-in-law for example but all this nasty unkept pubic hair is GROSS like Eric's roommate Sean right now hasn't shaved in like a week I am guessing. Gross. Men are so dumb.

This week-end I couldn't help but laugh at Eric. It just cracks me up how dressed down he is half of the time, like a big white shirt and these army green cargo shorts he wears that I HAVE to replace and get rid of when he's not looking. Lol. And I have to look at what I am wearing and then look back at him and I just can't help but stiffle a laugh! Why the hell am I dressing to impress when he's trying his hardest not to?! Makes no sense to me. Boys are so dumb. Who taught them how to dress anyways? Jeez. Do they think they look good? The only well dressed men are either gay or have girlfriends or moms dressing them. Hehe.


So anyways the Dinning Out had a Admiral (sp) give a really boring long speech. If I was up there for 15 minutes I would have everybody listening. I have always been good at giving interesting speeches that keeps people at least listening even if they are freaked out about the topic I am talking about. So anyways, I could of done better. The chicken thingy was okay, I mean it's better than Top Ramen. But I would take Chow Mein any day over that thing. Dessert was Carrot Cake. Not bad for carrot cake, I like carrot cake but I don't drool over it or anything.

I just hate anything formal because I feel retarded. I especially hate crowds of people. I knew/recognized alot of people there but a big crowd like makes me want to crawl back to a computer or to my hole as Anna calls it (my bedroom). I do not like the praying (ew) and all of the being silet while somebody parades around with a flag? Why? I am sorry I do not have respect for this country. Why you must be thinking?

America....well simply put we are arrogant as a whole. The people of this country think that they are better than the rest of the world. Why? Because unlike most of the world we have freedom, the freedom to do what we want...mostly. We have indoor plumbing, we have cable TV, we have a civilized society. We also have the freedom to take what we have for granted, we reserve the right to lock murderers and rapists up in prison for life, we reserve the right to trash this planet as we see fit. Why? Because this planet, this earth is our's. Our wildlife, our ozone layer that we are depleting day after day but why doesn't anybody seem to really care? Because it is our's. Okay I am reading "Ishmael" so that's why I am babbling about that. Thanks to Bill for making me read the book but it is really good so far and it's crazy how true the shit is.

So back to our country not just how fucked up people are....I don't like how we flaunt how good we are and think that we are better than everybody else. It just pisses me off. We have alot of things that make us technoligally more advanced...but does that mean that we are better than the aborigines who in south africa live off of the earth, without indoor plumbing, without TV. They are happy with what they have and are thankful for having what they have. The kill to eat. The kill when necessary to survive and protect their children. They make babies and work hard to survive. They don't drive cars that pollute the ozone, they don't kill animals to put their heads on their walls. They don't molest their cousins or kill somebody to use their flesh as a lampshade for the their living room. Do they live their lives everyday thinking that they are better than us? I doubt it. Why is that? Is that because they are not better than us? No. Because they work hard for what they have and appreciate all of it because they live in the earth not own the earth.

Anyways. I could argue tooth and nail that society is fucked up and people need to change things. I know that this country is better than dozens of countries because we don't throw rocks at women who show an ankle in public, because we allow women to vote. We allow people alot of freedom, I think in some areas too much freedom. That's great EVERYBODY should do that. But does that give us the right to be stupid, arrogant bafoons? No. Be grateful for the fact that when your aunt is raped and murdered the man who did it if he is caught, will be put in prison. And guess who pays for that prison and to keep him alive in that prison? You guessed it...we all do.

I drove up to Prescott Thursday night after I got off of work. Last week was psycho dead so I hoping to get out of there a little early but alas, they kept seating me and seating me! So, I don't think I left until around 6PM or so. Sean White came over so we could drive his truck to the dealership again. Lol. Pos. So we went to Denny's after. The coolest thing was when we were leaving guess who I saw...lol. James. This really super cool guy from Riddle that I haven't seen in fucking 2 yrs! I wish I had asked him for his email but I totally SPACED it. Maybe he'll be at graduation.

Wed March 31

Second training day with Carriane.


Thu April 1

First training day with Laurie

Fri April 2

Was supposed to be my last training day and I was scheduled to be on my own with Monday morning (which is normally my day off but Pam is a retard at making scheduling) and Laurie said I needed one more day and was planning on training me Mon and I told her I wanted it off anyways! Since I was not certified to serve yet I didn't have to get that Mon covered. I finished my training Tue with Laurie and took my test and got a 94%.

Thu April 8

My first day of serving on my own! Yay! I had four tables all day (which is terrible but we're out of season now so I am not shocked) My last table was a husband, wife and their 5 kids. It was the little girls b-day and I brought her brownie, ice-cream and hot fudge with her candle and they were all like "OMG!!" It was way cute. Then they sang happy birthday to her. They told me I was doing great and on their $86 bill they left me....$50! Woah. How cool is that?? Dude. It was super fucking cool! Other than that table I made like 10 bucks. So it was a great end to my day.

Tue March 30th

I started server training today with Carrianne. She showed what to do and I took some of her tables all on my own and Wed the same thing. A while back the managers asked Carrie if she even wanted totrain and she told them no but since she said no they have scheduled her to train three people! Lol. Lame asses. She's not a good trainer, not to say she's not good at her job. It's just that she isn't great at showing people how to do what she does without taking things for granted and not illustrating how to do them to other people. So Thursday morning Laurie came in and Carrie asked her if she would train me and Laurie agreed to finish my training Thursday and Friday. Well I am originally said I only wanted to work lunches but I told them that I wanted to train dinners also and so Laurie said she wanted to train me Monday morning (I was scheduled to work on my own but she said I needed one more day) and Kieta told her no I wanted Monday off. So Tuesday I am training again, Wed off, Thu I am on my own!!!!! OMG!! AHH!! hehe. I am still expoing Friday and Saturday nights because I like making a $100 a night. But omg after serving this week and expoing Fri and Sat I HATE expoing at especially on those nights I dunno how long I will be able to hack them without going crazy. They are so stressful and everybody (cooks, servers) are so grumpy and stupid sloppy assholes I hate it.

Fri April 2nd

I hate my job!!!!! Tonight Jose the dishwasher was a grumpy fuck, Candace was being the biggest bitch. I did something perverted like stuck my tongue between my two fingers (which I do frequently) and she called me like a lesbian freak. In this stupid fucking bitchy ass voice...Bitch. She's never jumped down my throat like that before. Then later Grady apparently relayed a message to Rudy to tell Candace and she was not happy about it and so I was like what's the matter...I patted her on the back. And she fucking snaps and shrugs and whips back "Don't fucking touch me!" FUCK YOU! Then Patti was being a dumb bitch. Then all night expoing is spent cleaning up after assholes who don't lift a finger and leave their dirty dishes everywhere along with spills, wasted food and garbage. They do not care about anybody but themselves.

This week-end has put me in such a bad mood just wanting to kill everything. I can't get this Davy drama out of my head. I just can not believe my stupid ass pervert family.

Sean, Eric and I went to the Grand Canyon and walked around the rim. I think the best part was the deer and the two squirrels we saw. One of the squirrels Sean saw first we walked beside it and it walked over to the ledge and just lay there looking the edge. I couldn't believe how CLOSE to the edge the little guy was! His paws were practically hanging off! It was freaky as hell!

After the canyon we all went to Alfonzo's in Chino Valley (a little mom & pop mexican food place) and went back to the dorm with it. We watched The Crow (Eric bought me the box set for my 20th B-day) and Sean fought because he didn't want to watch it but it caved eventually.

HELL!!
I'm sorry but this morning was hell! I went to bed at around 1am and woke-up at 6:30am. Anna and I were getting coffee when the door opened. Betty showed up. Anna had told her that we were having a garage sale and she had never called or said she was coming so we did not think she was going to show. I actually wish she hadn't because omg I can begin to explain how annoying and stubborn/stupid she was the entire FUCKING time. We brought shit out (yes, SHIT) she kept saying she didn't want to sell all of this shit because she wanted it. Let me explain something to you....Anna is my sister....and well her mother Betty is a freaking crazy ass lady. She doesn't own a house or anything. She has a ton of SHIT in storage, a bunch of shit in her little car that my Aunt Donna bought Betty and her little room that she is renting from a girl who rescues cats and keeps them in her house. She has not paid in taxes in god knows how long, she works at Wal-Mart as a cashier, she has no money to her name, she owe's me over THREE grand. Yup. And she wants to keep FUGLY nick nack shit? Where are you going to put them? Why!!?! I put some shit out and she grabbed and put it back in the garage yelling at me for trying to sell the shit.

She even gave me shit for selling my stuff...."Why are you selling that?!?!" OMG. Because I am not a freaking pack rat like you are crazy lady! SAVE ME. So we started shortly after getting up and then took a bunch of what was left to a donation place by our house. Then Betty borrowed Anna's mini-van to take some of her shit over to storage because she's too lame to give it up. Moron. I sold shit SO cheap and she kept freaking-out. But at this point I do not care about the money I just want it GONE. We have to move in June and I have enough shit...it's already getting the high 90's! I do not want more SHIT just because I could not get a dollar more for it! Ugh. I do not have the energy, time or really care to have a million more garage sales to try and sell it! Ergh.

Then Anna I went over to J'oann's because they were having a big three day sale. I bought a bunch of paper, ribbon and some buttons for scraping. I found this GORGEOUS asian material and I bought 42$ worth even after a 30% discount! WOAH. It was originally $9.99 a yard. One of the is this brillant red (I already has a asian shirt made from this same material) with dragons and peacocks on it. I LOVED it when I bought the other material for the shirt and I bought all they had and Anna made my shirt that I was going to wear with black pants to Bill's prom but we did not go so I have not worn it yet! Then the other one is a pretty pink/purple with asian flowers. They're spread out nicely so it's not WAY busy like some of the other one's were. I am obsessed with asian shit.

After all of this I went to work and after work I drove up to Prescott again. ;) I got there around 1:30am.

I got home at around 1am last night and pretty much went straight to bed. I woke-up at around 8am and went back to sleep and Anna woke me up a little after 8:30 when Bill got here. I dressed etc. and went downstairs and we left shortly after. He drove us to the airport and took forever. I left him there so he could go to Seattle to see his friend Brandon for the week-end. I have to pick him up Tue night. Well driving home I was already running late because I had to back in time to get to work at 10:30 and Kieta had to be at work by 10:45 so she was going to take me in because I did not want to be driving my car. I could not get his seat pulled forward so I was stretching my feet to touch the pedals and looking through the gap in the steering wheel to drive. His steering wheel was sticky, there's no rearview mirror, his speedometer doesn't work and I tried to use his lever that's attached to the pedals so you do not have to push the pedals. Well when I used that I know that I was only going about 40-50 mph on the freeway. Fuck that. I was late and I can NOT handle driving like a turtle so I stretched to push the pedals. Yuck. So I drove my lame ass home and went to work ALL Day. I had an hour break where I got chicken nuggets from Mcdonalds, a pretzel and smoothie from Costco. What a great lunch. lol. But I hate Black Angus food mostly and I do not like to give that fucking shit hole company my $$. I ate and went back to work until about a quarter 'til 11pm. Yay. Then my brother-in-law drove my car over to pick me up because him and his friend from work had looked at it. His friend said it did not sound like the starter. But the battery juice levels (whatever those are!) were low so they filled those and cleaned the terminals. It started fine so far.

I requested tonight off a couple of weeks ago because I was planning on going to Cari's house to scrapbook for the first time in weeks. For the first time in a few weeks I was scheduled a morning shift!?!? WTF!?!? I looked at my schedule last Saturday and I was on for Thursday morning with Thursday night (R) off. WTF. I hate Black Anguish. So I was bitching to Kieta and she said I should call Patrick (the new DAY expo) and see if he wanted it. Well I had not gotten around to calling him and she saw him @ work and said how I wanted Thu morning off. So he calls me like Tue. and asks me "Do you want Thu morning off?" SURE I say. "Well do you want to work for me Friday?" EW. I thought he was just going to pick it up. DAMN IT. "Not really because I work Friday night and that means I would be there ALL DAY. From 10:30 until 11pm. Can anybody else pick it up from you?" He called one of the other temporary expos Stephanie. Nope. She didn't answer and she's told them she no longer wants to expo apparently. Good for her but bad for me. Although she was down to only one morning a week. So it's not that bad. It turns out he had Saturday off and he wanted to go to Cali to see his family. I have been there and done that with trying to get assholes to get my shift so I said I would. He told me he owed me, DAMN right!!

Thursday night. Kieta had originally said she was going to go to Cari's tonight and even bought tequila. Good old Jose. So...she drank too much St. Patrick's day with Ben and Amber which got her sick because it lowered her immune system and she caught the cold I had last week! Haha. Since she felt like shit she decided to bail on me. My car has been not starting when the engine is warm and I did not want take the chance that it would not start again. I borrowed Kieta's car and went. I actually got a few pages finished, well mostly. I just pasted the pages with winnie-the-pooh packet stuff I had but I have to put the pictures on still. I had a couple of strawberry daquiris and Cari of course got way drunk. Lol. Candace, Debbie P, Stephanie, Trevor (gay looking busser), Debbie (Moe's wife), Heather and Melissa were all there.

This morning Eric called me @ around 8:30 Am to let me know he was on his way down here. He was renting a riddle plane and flying down to the Falcon Field (Mesa) airport and he would be getting there at about 10 AM. I took the opportunity to wear my cute little black skirt with a dragon on it that I got recently. I have a slight obsession with dragons. I got there at 9:50 and surprisingly I found the terminal with ease. I tend to get lost when going to a new place. So I was proud of myself. Hew hew. I loved Eric's practically jaw dropped expression when I got out and walked towards him. I pretty much never wear dresses, skirts and shorts. I am naturally really really white, heh...so I put a little self tanner on the night before so I could wear my skirt. I wasn't tan but a little less blindingly white which is ok because I had not put that much on anyways so I knew it wasn't going to show up dark.

We went to the Harkins by my work (Superstion Springs) and saw "Starksky and Hutch" which I was just slightly interested in seeing and it was actually really funny I was laughing my ass off. It was way nasty when Carmen Electra and Amy Smart (Road Trip) made out. But I am sure every guy in the theater was drooling. Lol. I saw this calendar from like '95 or so with Carmen Electra where she had a light shade of brown hair and she was seriously beautiful. But now I think she looks so trashy, between her implants, hair and make-up. She reminds me of an older woman still trying to look as if she's still 20 years old!

My starter is dying and so my car has been not wanting to start but luckily it eventually started everytime today. We went to Baskin Robbins and Eric ordered us a double scoop Tax Crunch. Then I drove us back to the airport where there's a little Italian restaurant that some guys @ Riddle recommended. Anzio's I think was the name. Then I dropped him off @ the terminal and went home. Anna lent me the mini-van so I could get to work @ 5pm.

Black Anguish
All week it has been steady but slow for the servers because the large number of them on each night. Since I make one percent of each servers sales I make way way way WAY more money because of the large number of servers on each night. On a super slow night I make around $50 in tips and I used to make around $30 on a slow night. Because it was St. Patrick's Day I think it was slightly busier than usual but not much because I walked with $75 (plus $4 an hr).

I stayed up until 5 AM mostly doing scrapbooking stuff, lol I am a nerd. So I slept in until noon when my neice Carol busted into my room yelling, "Aunt Michelle your computer is here!" So I went downstairs and brought it all upstairs to unpack. I set it all up with the internet and downloaded AIM. I talked to Mel, Bill, and some old ERAU friends. YAY! I have my own computer! I am in debt up to my ears but I have a computer! How spiffy!?!?! And it's the best one in the house. Lol. Bill was inquiring on the inner makings of my "Demon" (and yes that is her name) and I told him it's a "Pentium 4 2.66 GHz 256 Mhz, 40 GB" and he's like "jesus. that's a good computer." *Snickers softly* I could of upgraded more but I can always do that later. The important this is I have the internet at my fingertips, quickly, music and a dvd player for only a $30 upgrade. Cool beans.

Black Anguish
Work was hell. The cooks fucked up a ton of plates and it was slow with one rush. I do not think the kitchen staff was expecting it to get busy and so they of course could not keep up and I was having 10 minute OVER ticket times. And then there was the potatoes. The fucking potatoes. Besides dressing the food and stocking the line my job is to be the middle man between the kitchen and the servers. So I yell for the freaking bakers. *crickets* BAKERS!!! *frog rippit* Ahem, BAAKKKKERRRSSS!! After a few mintues of doing other things to the plates and still no fucking potatoes and all of the twenty plates in the window need bakers on them. I go into the back and look for a towel to grab the pan out of the baker oven. All of the towels are WET. A wet towel will conduct that heat right through and BURN me. So I continue my search for mits or towels ...I find the driest one and grab the pan. Umm, it's not hot. The potatoes look like an 80 year old's shriveled nutsack. So I push them aside and go open the "big" oven where the not quite done potatoes (and bread is always kept) and there is ONE tray. Ahem...one tray of potatoes in the big oven and shitty COLD unusable bakers in the other oven. WTF is Jose the only kitchen guy DOING BACK HERE?!?! Stop wacking off in the dry storage and keep potatoes in the oven! How complicated is that?!?!? I hate people. Everytime Jose is in the back by himself things go wrong. He is slow on salads, desserts, potatoes and he ALWAYS runs out of bakers. So I grab him off the line where he is helping the 3 cooks already on the line cook food. UGH. He gets the potatoes (because I AINT burning myself!) and guess what? They are hard! I stick three in the only microwave we have. And the others in the drawer to microwave after those three. Meanwhile there is still a ton of the food in the window.

When the servers come into the back and ask for potatoes I am just PISSED off. I get really mad when I get screwed because other people can not do their job right. So I am ranting, "I don't have any fucking potatoes!" Well I am naturally a loud mouthed person and I say it a few times apparently. Well one of Andrew's tables (14) hears me and complains about the kitchen noise (the dishwasher is also very noisey) and their $30 lobster plates...the lobsters were undercooked. So Pam the manager bought their $138 ticket and told me this story leaving out the lobster part(I did not know it was the same table), just about me yelling "I don't have any fucking potatoes!" three times etc etc. Yes, it is hugely my fault but the rest of the evening was ruined and not by me but as she tells me the story she completely makes it out as if it is ALL my fault. Fuck off. If you had been doing your job as a manager and came back to the kitchen when I had called you back here half of my stress would of been cut down. FUCK that black hole of death.

Sean T., Eric and I went over to Castle Golf which neither of them had been to before. It was way cool because Eric and I played air hockey and the last game we played was at Peter Piper Pizza and I had kicked his ass. But it was due to the dact (according to him:) because while he was doing his victory dance, hehe...I made shots! Lol. So he wanted to have a rematch. But I was sick with a cold and my reflexes weren't at their peak so he creamed me. It was fun none-the-less. He killed Sean too. We watched Eric play a game I have never heard of before that he is way into and is really good at because he played forever only the same money. During his playing I started feeling really sick to my stomach, then they payed for a round each at the batting cages...and I felt really sick. So I ran to the bathroom and came back to watch them play. Lol. They were ummm....good I guess. When you compared them to the nine year old kid in the next cage. Hehe. ;P

Worked tonight and I made $132 in tips! Woah good night. I drove up to Prescott after work and got there at about 1:30 AM and I gave Eric $100 towards the $136 I owe him for when he paid to get the VW bug's windows tinted. He's so good to me. ;) He paid for it just because. He needs to work on how he spends money but he at least he does do get cool things with his money. Our 2 yr. anniversary is Monday the 8th and when I walked into his dorm room I saw resting on his bed propped up on a pillow two roses. One red and one a pretty pink with the pepe stuffed animal I got him last year for valentine's day and a card. So I read the car which was a really cute card. I love his cheesy cards that he gets me, but this one wasn't his 'usual' weirdness. It was cool to have something a little different. ;)

Worked a straight through double today on no food. I felt sicker to my stomach today that yesterday and I had tried to eat my poptarts, it was not happening. Gary came in at 4 so we both expoed and I left at 10pm when we had the last tables in the restraunt sat. He had to close the line since I had been there all day. Totally fair if you ask me! I had almost everything in my car to drive to Prescott except Eric's posters. I drove home and showered and left. I got there at around 1am. We were supposed to go to the grand canyon in the morning as early as possible, but my stomach was still upset and I had the shits all night. I hardly got any sleep and I still felt kinda gross at noon and so we sacked the canyon for another time instead. We were thinking this week-end but Eric's friend Bryan is coming down Saturday so another time still.

Sean Tavares came with us and we went to the Bread Flower co. and got bagles (cranberry raisin yum) then we went to see "50 First Dates" I really liked it. Sean wanted to hate it from the start and we practically had to drag him but he laughed alot so I think even he liked it. Went to Wal-Mart and blew lots of time. Eric and I picked up Canton Dragon instead of the Chinese Buffet which had been our original plan.

I didn't work tonight I still felt sick and exhausted. Tiffany expoed for me, which means 100$ less for me. Fucking shitty but I was not feeling up to it.

I woke up at 2pm (becuz I was up until 5 AM) and I felt slightly nauseated so I ate a bowl of cereal. Afterwards I ate some crackers and I still felt kind of sick. So while I was getting ready for work I called in and asked Grady if there was anybody there to work for me. "No, we're going to do 500 dinners tonight, we're already on a wait." "Okay, well I am on my way then."

I got there and I felt like crap! The smell of greasy repulsive feed made me wanna yack. So I told a manager that I felt like shit and she talked to Grady and he told her that I had tried to call in earlier and I was not going anywhere. So I stayed until 7pm when I threw up in the employee bathroom (the third time since working there!) and I walked straight up the podeuim and told Grady that I couldn't stay. He told me to go tell Jenn the other manager on duty. So I found her and told her that I threw up and I had to leave. She threw on an apron and expoed, which pissed her off because she was getting ready to go home. Oh I'm so sorry.

Jan 7th 2004 Wed.

Today I talked to Grady about me serving since I talked to him last at least a month ago (maybe more) our restraunt has hired three new servers. Stephanie, (Krissy's friend from Indiana) Jason and Lara. Jason is about half a deck short of a full deck and I just do not like him. EW. Lara is nice but stupid. hew hew. So he said in two weeks three at the most I will start server training!